Author: Vinu Abraham
Publication: The Week
Date: July 27, 2003
URL: http://www.the-week.com/23jul27/life11.htm
Introduction: Abandoned wives lead
hopeless lives in Kerala village
Pozhuthana lies five kilometres
from Vythiri, a popular tourist spot. With verdant forests and tea
gardens, it rivals Vythiri in scenic beauty. But its claim to fame (or
infamy) has nothing to do with this. The small village in north Kerala
is home to dozens of abandoned and disconsolate wives.
Most of them are Muslims. Social
workers say that there are more than 60 such women in the area. The number
is likely to be more, since many families hide such women in the darkness
of their homes.
Some are ready to come out to the
light and speak. They feel they have nothing to lose. Arifa, 23, of Parakunnu
colony, lost her father years ago and was brought up by her mother, a casual
labourer at a tea estate. When she was 19, she was hurriedly married to
Salim, a labourer. Her mother was afraid that Arifa was already past the
marriageable age.
Salim lived with her for three years
and fathered two children, of whom one died. One day he walked out. The
divorce declaration came later, by post. He had pocketed her dowry, Rs
75,000 and 20 sovereigns of gold. "I heard that he is going to marry a
17-year-old," said Arifa. " But what can we do? This is how things are."
The women cannot be blamed for adopting
an attitude of glum stoicism. They have no one to turn to. Suhara, for
instance, was abandoned by her husband a year after marriage. For the last
10 years, she and her daughter have been living with her parents. Recently,
she came to know that her husband had married again. (Suhara has not been
formally divorced.) As in many other cases, her family had given hard-earned
money as dowry to the runaway husband.
Poor and illiterate, the Muslim
families are obsessed with 'marrying off' girls at a young age, often spoiling
their future in the process. Said K. Fathima, a social activist: "An unmarried
17-year-old Muslim girl is seen as a major problem. The girl's parents
will do anything to get her married. This is exploited by outsiders and
fraudulent marriage brokers. The desperate families do not inquire much
about the grooms."
Sakina, 26, is a victim of this
desperation. With both parents dead, she had become a 'burden' on her siblings
and relatives. Under pressure, she married Mohammed Ali, a travelling vessel
seller from Malappuram, a year ago even though Ali had disclosed that he
had a wife and three children in Malappuram. Now, eight months pregnant,
Sakina is afraid that her husband might abandon her. "Whenever he leaves
for a few days I am afraid," she said. "The same is the case when he comes
back. What if he takes the remaining portion of the dowry and scoots?"
Ali said he would never leave Sakina but was worried about what would happen
when his first wife came to know of the marriage. "I try not to think about
it," he said.
At least Sakina's husband was candid
enough to admit that he had a wife. Others were not so lucky. Nabisa, of
Achur colony, had no inkling that her husband had another family. "He just
wanted me for sex and money," she said. "I had to work like a slave in
his house. One day I ran away and came back home."
There are rare instances of women
and their families trying to fight back. Kaulath, 19, was married to a
person from Palakkad two years ago. He left her seven months ago. The family
has lodged a complaint at the Vythiri police station but no action has
been taken so far. Interestingly, neither Kaulath nor her family has any
idea of the exact location of the groom's house.
"Most families consist of casual
labourers who have seasonal work and very little pay," said a social activist
of the area. "In such families anxiety about the future of girls is very
high." Lack of education and awareness has made the women unprotesting
victims. Aziya, 23, who was abandoned after three months of marriage (the
husband took away Rs 90,000 and 12 sovereigns of gold) looks puzzled when
asked whether she was planning legal action.
Apart from men in neighbouring areas,
'grooms' from Mysore and Tamil Nadu also come down to Pozhuthana to get
married. Kunhamina, 23, was married to a Kala Maitheen from Chennai. She
lived with him in Chennai and came down to give birth to her child. She
has not heard from him since.
Despite these tragic tales, such
marriages are still taking place. "For the families, the stigma of unmarried
girls is greater than the stigma of abandoned wives," said C.H. Mummy,
a local CPI(M) leader. It seems there is no escape hatch for the hapless
women of Pozhuthana.