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archive: Foot in mouth disease

Foot in mouth disease

Varsha Bhosle
Rediff
July 13, 1999


    Title: Foot in mouth disease
    Author: Varsha Bhosle 
    Publication: Rediff
    Date: July 13, 1999
    
    Prime Minister Atal Bihari Vajpayee is an excellent speaker. I don't
    mean just his pulpit oratory, but the way he talks one-to-one. It's
    all in his demeanour: amiable and courteous enough to make him seem
    approachable; reserved enough to not seem unctuous or timid; and just
    impatient enough to make a person realise she asked a stupid question,
    and yet not feel slighted or rebuffed. It's a rare gift. No wonder he
    has everyone eating out of his hands. If nobody but M/s Vajpayee,
    Advani, Jaswant Singh and Yashwant Sinha spoke for the government and
    their party, the Press would be in deep shit. 
    
    Unfortunately, wishes aren't horses. So, we're saddled with, among
    others, Kushabhau Thakre, who believes it's his duty to open his
    mouth, whether an opportunity presents itself or not, whether he's
    required to or not. Take his recent statement that the majority of
    Indians "want the government to retrieve PoK". One poll had indicated
    that 63% Indians want it back. Therefore, the very next day, the BJP
    supremo felt it incumbent upon him to declare it at a Press
    conference. Had anybody specifically asked Thakre about PoK? No. 
    
    Result: Exactly when the whole world was having kittens over "India's
    restraint," the BJP made headlines here and abroad with the "Hindu
    nationalist party" tag highlighted, and without any mention of a poll
    --- since the BJP president had introduced the topic, and presented it
    as his own perception. 
    
    Last month, the party conducted a conclave to enlighten its
    spokespersons on media management. (It's paid off with Arun Jaitley,
    the polite lawyer whom I've often wanted to violently shake out of his
    mildness. Now, he's decidedly aggro --- decimated Kamal Nath in a
    debate on the politicisation of Kargil.) However, there was a major
    lapse in the media strategy adopted at the meet: Mr Arun Shourie must
    have forgotten to lecture on the judicious application of the
    gag-plaster-and-muzzle. Hence, Thakre. 
    
    Even Mulayam Singh declared that although PoK was a part of India, the
    decision to cross the LoC should be left to the military. Of course,
    he then ridiculed Thakre for saying that the army should be "allowed
    to cross" over. "It is not a game of kabaddi to cross the LoC,"
    Mulayam sneered, and blasted him for creating a "war hysteria in the
    country." I'm with him: One, he's been defence minister and has some
    knowledge in that sphere. Two, if not for him, we'd have had a
    vicious, dumb, Italian PM who would have, just to prove her
    nationalistic credentials, thrown India into the Coliseum of a
    full-scale war. 
    
    It's useless explaining to yobs that a leader's job is to lead --- and
    not BE LED by the mob: Atalji has consistently gone against the wishes
    of the Parivar (Panchjanya has just slammed him) --- and now, also
    popular sentiment --- to place India in the position she finds
    herself: Tomorrow, even if she were to cross the LoC (which chances
    are looking extremely bright), no country can question her stand and
    call her bellicose. That credit goes entirely to Atalji's handling of
    the crisis. In all the Indo-Pak wars, Pakistan has always been the
    aggressor, but the Congress leadership never could whip up even a
    speck of international support... 
    
    But, with friends like Thakre, Atalji needs no Natwars: If the PoK
    glitch wasn't enough, from Goa, he "categorically stated that along
    with Kargil, everything that is being done by the BJP for the welfare
    of the country would be made a poll issue." Excellent. After all the
    other BJP deputies have gone blue in the face decrying the Congress
    for politicising Kargil, its president announces that Kargil will be
    the party's poll issue --- while accusing the Congress for making hay
    "while the Indian soldiers were fighting on the battlefield to save
    our country"!! 
    
    Result: headlines. So, Atalji had to beg his cadre, "We do not want to
    exploit Kargil for deriving political mileage. We can only request
    other political parties not to play politics with Kargil. The Kargil
    conflict is a question of national security." 
    
    Other Thakre pearls include: "[Atalji] even declined President Bill
    Clinton's invitation to go to USA" (great; I'm sure the State
    Department appreciates the BJP president's rubbing it in). "There was
    no financial crisis and not even need to declare emergency" (thanks
    for informing Sancho Panza you were contemplating it). "The whole
    nation knows that only due to Atal Bihari Vajpayee's visit to Lahore
    the country could get outside support on the Kargil issue" (thanks for
    telling us the fate of India hinges on a trip to Pakistan). 
    
    Could someone *please* inform this person that NOBODY in this country
    is dying to hear his opinions? That we'd rather he not embarrass the
    PM? That we'd rather he not ream external affairs? Please, just take
    moun-vrat. And if you really want to help through your utterances ---
    please, just join the Congress. 
    
    Is it any better with the Congress? Ha. The demands for a Rajya Sabha
    session and a white paper and "democratic accountability" --- all
    supposed to contrast with Nehru's handling of the China fiasco --- is
    the stuff for comic books. Here's an extract from Panditji's speech
    during the debate on the no-confidence motion on August 22, 1963: 
    
    "Everybody knows how strength in such matters depends not only on
    arms, armies and armaments, but on the morale and unity of the
    people... I would beg of the honourable members to consider how far
    this morale and unity are strengthened by this motion of
    no-confidence... The Chinese press, about which I get reports every
    day, gloats over these things. I believe one of the reasons, perhaps
    the major reason, for attacking us last October was the feeling in the
    minds of the Chinese that India was faced with many disruptive
    tendencies and if they gave a blow, we would split up into fragments.
    They were mistaken, of course. The opposite has happened. Apart from
    what they might think, we must ponder over what effect it might have
    on our Army and our own people if we quarrel too much among ourselves;
    it will demoralise them." 
    
    Deja vu...? Why hasn't the BJP pasted this on Natwar gob?? Because,
    those who should be poring over papers to find precedents which
    fortify the government's stand, are busy trying to get their mug shots
    and opinions into newspapers and television... 
    
    Like Panditji, Atalji is right. Look where the Shroud's avarice has
    led: The Dawn of 7 July reports, "Sonia Gandhi, head of the Congress
    party, said the government had failed in its duty to protect India's
    borders. 'People want an answer from this government for its weakness
    and slackness on the borders,' the Italian-born widow of former prime
    minister Rajiv Gandhi told a gathering in Bihar. 'Keeping borders
    protected is the responsibility of the government but they failed in
    their duty,' she said in one of the strongest attacks yet on the
    BJP-led coalition government over Kashmir." 
    
    In The News of July 10, Imtiaz Gul writes, "[The Indian Army] that has
    suffered huge human and material losses and would like to reap bloody
    noses from the Kargil heights to assuage its own ego, and more so of
    the Indian public and political parties who have been looking down
    upon them as a *incompetent* and *demoralised* lot." 
    
    The 150-year-old Indian National Congress has now become a rallying
    point for Pakis. They use the Shroud's gas to claim that the Indian
    government is weak and the Indian Army --- which is thrashing them ---
    is slack at the borders. The Pakistan paper -- to date -- hasn't
    quoted a pinko or the Gujral Doctrine or even Sancho Panza. At the
    meeting of the CMs, Jyoti Basu said, "The message must go out loud and
    clear that so far as driving the infiltrators away from the soil of
    our country is concerned, the Union government and the State
    governments will act and move unitedly to strengthen the solidarity of
    the nation." Whereas the Shroud's lap-dogs --- Dixit, Digvijay, Gehlot
    --- were *instructed* to sharply criticise the government. 
    
    Then again, what else can one expect from a foreigner... 
    
    With Pakistan, it's even worse. Hard job, handling the Press --- not
    for yobs. On July 4, after the Clinton-Sharief summit, the entire DC
    and NY Press corps walked out of the briefing given by Pakistan's
    foreign office spokesman Tariq Altaf. He told a senior NY journalist
    that the latter had either not read or didn't understand the language
    of the joint statement. When other old-hands tried to pin him down on
    the "concrete steps" promised by Pakistan, Altaf told them "not to
    raise your voice." Finally, one Washingtonian blew his top and shouted
    that he wasn't going to stand being treated like schoolkid --- and
    walked out. The rest followed. 
    
    Discourtesy is the hallmark of Pakistani diplomacy. On 18 June,
    Cairo's leading English-daily, Egyptian Gazette, wrote: "The Pakistani
    embassy's press counsellor seems to be experienced in everything
    except for the Press area which is presumably his key assignment as
    his job title indicates. His reply to the gazette is filled with
    nothing other than insolence. Moreover, Islamabad's involvement in
    supporting militant groups runs counter to the principles of peace it
    advocates." The Pakistani diplomat has exposed himself as only
    "versatile in mouthing insults and vulgarities," it said. 
    
    This was in reaction to the Pakistan embassy's Dr Shakil Akhtar
    getting hives over an analysis on Kargil, which he felt did not
    portray Islamabad's view. Among other things, Akhtar wrote in a letter
    to the editor that Pakistan was willing to "arrange, free of charge,
    special summer course for your 'analyst' in the art of writing
    credible news analyses and preparing propaganda stuff with some amount
    of sophistication." This is the standard of Pakistan's counselling. 
    
    The Indian Army's spokesman, Colonel Bikram Singh, in private, may use
    the choicest khada gaalis for Pakis. But when he went on the
    microphone after the return of the mutilated bodies of the six
    soldiers, the hardest he went was, "This is a gift by Pakistan to
    India a few days before its Foreign Minister Sartaj Aziz visits New
    Delhi to discuss the Kargil situation." It's called restraint ---
    essential when one's country is *officially* being presented to the
    world. 
    
    But listen to ISPR spokesman Brigadier Rashid Qureshi during a media
    briefing in Pakistan --- on the very day his PM was negotiating a
    face-saver with Clinton: When quizzed about India's recapturing Tiger
    Hills, Qureshi said, "30,000 men, 150 artillery guns, 70 aircraft
    operating unopposed for the last two months against some mujahideen,
    and the Indians have nothing to show for it. Not one mujahideen body,
    and five peaks?! Yes, they have something to show for it --- about 600
    men killed and 1,100 wounded. Yes, they have something to show for it
    --- burials, burials and burials of Indian soldiers." 
    
    No, it shouldn't make your blood boil --- that's to be reserved for an
    intelligent foe. The Qureshis and Guls are meant to be brushed off.
    For then, we suddenly find somebody else doing our job for us: Tim
    Sebastian of BBC's Hard Talk, has been like a fox terrier snapping
    away at the heels of Pak diplomats. First he screwed Altaf's
    happiness, now he's buggered Sartaj Aziz's. I have never, ever, seen
    Mr Sebastian aggressive and hostile towards his guests. What's it with
    him and Pakis?! Methinks, it's that old foot in mouth disease that's
    made Pakis, well, Pakis... 
    
    Tailpiece: Piali Roy wrote, "Newsflash to Ignorant Indians: Long
    before we became South Asians, desis or Indian-Americans, we were all
    once Pakis." 
    
    Cute. But the Charitable Canadian should exert her brains, too: Were
    Pakistanis the first group from the subcontinent to emigrate? Are they
    numerically more than Indians? Why weren't THEY called "Indies"??
    Why's it that when cops question Pakis for, say, a pub brawl, they
    identify themselves as Indians in the hope of being let off lightly?
    Answer: Indians have earned a good reputation. The habit of writing
    for Western publications engenders an obsequious and self-deprecating
    mentality: Try writing for India, and as an Indian, sometimes.
    



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