Author: Argus Chubby
Publication: Bharatiya Pragna
Date: July 2002
Communists beat their chests and
proclaim that they are the champions of science and that scientific spirit
is their exclusive prerogative. That's why, the 17th national jamboree
of the CPM at Hyderabad in March 2002 was kick-started by a science exhibition
got up by a leftist cohort Chukka Ramaiah a renowned coach of the bourgeoisie
aspirants to the IIT. Haranguing that mela, Sitaram Yechury, the partisan
spokesman pooh-poohed and debunked the role of the Shankaracharyas and
exhorted the people to follow science & technology to guide the nation's
destiny.
So when APJ Kalam, the most dedicated
and inspiring scientist-technologist was proposed for the country's presidentship,
people thought that the scientific hearts inside the Marxists would effusively
throb for him, who is also a lovable person with a simple living and high
thinking. But lo, no! The comrades pulled at their hair and kicked about
the ground and screamed: "We'll oppose Kalam tooth and nail, sickle and
hammer." "Why?" "Well, we've as many reasons as there are communist parties
and groups. Here, taste a few samples."
"Kalam is a scientist only in name
but a quack in character for he does not have scientific temperament. Otherwise,
how would he associate himself with the BJP? He is not grounded in Marxism
which is the source and quintessence of all science. One becomes a scientist
if only one carries the Marxist imprimatur."
"Kalam is a political ignoramus.
What does he know about the Constitution, the Parliamentary Democracy,
the Division of Powers between the Union and the States, etc, etc? He has
to be like Rabri Devi and Sonia Gandhi who are political mistresses. Why
do you think we are standing by both these two ladies? Because they know
the Indian polity, culture and current affairs like the palm of their hands
and are capable of taking prompt and proper policy decisions."
An overhearing proletarian suggested:
"But is it not better to have only graduates, postgraduates and PhDs in
political science to be our political leaders, MLAS, MPs, ministers'?"
"No, not necessary, so long as a
wannabe politician or constitutional functionary swears by Marxism and
anti-Hindutva."
"But Kalam is not communal. He is
secular, eclectic and pluralistic."
"Yes, that's exactly the problem.
We would have supported him if only he were anti-Hindutva. We wouldn't
have minded if he were an Islamic fanatic to the core."
"But Kalam is supported by a vast
majority of the political spectrum. Won't you respect democracy?"
"No, absolutely not. For majoritarianism
is anti-democracy. Who ever are the ruling party, they should follow the
dictates of us the leftists. Our numbers may be very small but our vocal
chords are far too strong and our intellectual reach is very wide and deep.
Judge us by the left and democratic decibels of our progressive voice."
"In the perpetual war declared by
Pakistan on us, won't Kalam's candidature rightly inspire our defences?"
"It shouldn't, for Indians are jingoistic
toward Pakistan. India is noted for its spirit of non-violence, thanks
to Mahatma Gandhi. If we elected this missile man our President it would
send wrong signals to the comity of nations."
"How come you are mentioning Mahatma
Gandhi? You had called him names and names. You called him an agent of
the British imperialists, though you yourselves were the zealous supporters
of the British during the Quit India movement and World War II."
"We shouldn't dig into the past.
We should live in the present. This we're asserting with all our command
of history."
"You disapprove jingoism and aggressively
approve of peace. India has never attacked any country during her long
history. But aren't your own fatherlands, the USSR and the Red China, still
remembered for their imperialism and violence?"
"No, no! Communistic countries are
never jingoistic or expansionistic. They are always peace loving. No one
can be more peaceful."
"But I understand that Red China
usurped the most peace-loving Tibet in 1950 and massacred thousands of
Tibetans, and destroyed hundreds of monasteries and the local Buddhist
culture. Come 1962, China responded- to our 'Hindi-Chini bhai bhai' by
perfidiously attacking our own country! Surprisingly, you the communists
chose to defend the Chinese and blame India. The Soviet Russia attacked
and enslaved many countries like Hungary, Poland and Czechoslovakia. The
Russian President Brezhnev propounded and imposed the brazen doctrine of
limited sovereignty on the non-Soviet communist states. History is eloquent
on this."
"No, it is all fabricated history,
fabricated by the imperialists, the colonialists, the bourgeoisie, the
fascists, the Nazis and the Hindutva forces. And did I not warn you not
to dig into history, anyway? We should think of and live in the present
and the future only."
"You say Kalam's candidature sends
wrong signals to the international community. By 'wrong' what do you mean?"
"By 'wrong' I mean jingoistic."
"Then where's the question of wrong
signals? They are the right signals, for the ruling coalition and the presidential
candidate are jingoistic, as per your own charge."
"Only the ruling clique and Kalam
are jingoistic. All the others - the dalits, the BCs, the minorities, the
workers, the artists, the intellectuals, the academia, and the civil and
human right activists are secular and peace loving citizens of the world."
"Anyway, why should we try overmuch
to please other countries and unduly bother about their views and interests
instead of right away acting in our own national interests?"
"For nationalism is a dangerous
thing smacking of American neo-colonialism. We should believe in internationalism.
It doesn't mean globalisation but 'Workers of the world unite. Mark this
distinction."
"But do the other countries think
likewise of the rest while taking their domestic decisions?"
"They need not, because they are
great countries unlike India."
"You detest nuclearisation of India.
Flow do you justify the USSR and the Red China the congenitally peaceful
countries being nuclear capitalists?"
"They are perfectly justified in
producing any number of nuclear weapons. For they would be using them for
the peaceful purpose of spreading only the peaceful communism. But we Indians
are jingoist. We tend to use our nukes out of hatred against Pakistan,
such a secular acid peace loving country Whereas, communist countries use
nukes against other countries only out of international love and not jingoism."
"You go on harping on Gujarat and
demand that Kalam come out with his views on it. But it is just one of
the 28 states and 7 UTs in the country. Gujarat is only a passing phase
whereas the presidential tenure lasts for five years having to touch upon
a wider canvas. Then why this specific stress on Gujarat?"
"A very intelligent question! We
lap up the Gujarat binge so much that we wish it stalked forever so that
we could continually harvest it. Sure, it's a breeding and fertile ground
where from to project and push our communal conflict, i.e. eternal class
conflict which is our bread and butter."
"OK, now let's know and talk about
your own candidate."
"Yes, she is Capt. Lakshmi Sehgal,
an octogenarian belle, in perfect match with our gerontocratic party. She
was a sterling freedom fighter and an associate of the supremely patriotic
Subhas Chandra Bose in his INA."
"But then you hate jingoistic and
narrow-minded thingamajigs like freedom movement and, most of all, a running
dog of fascist-Nazi axis like Subhas."
"Not that we are enamoured of bourgeoisie
things like patriotism and patriots. Being disputatious masters of dialectical
materialism, we are guided by realpolitik to garner votes by appealing
in the name of sentiments like that. Anyway, forget such trivia. See the
greatness of Lakshmi Sehgal, our candidate. She is glued to the service
to the Kanpur poor. "
"Instead of making a sacrificial
lamb of her, you should have made her the General Secretary of your CPM
or at least the president of one of your Red NGOs. She would have been
that way more useful. After all she is a communist to the core, even her
daughter Subhashini Ali is a vocal Red."
"But we decided to give her a well
deserved supra-party multiple promotion."
"But has your candidate not made
the presidential contest banal by talking in narrow terms of caste and
community, proclaiming herself to be a champion of the dalits, BCs and
minorities? Is she not expected to embrace all the sections in the country?"
"No, not at all. As our credo is
eternal class/ caste/communal conflict, we have to necessarily support
some classes and hate and fight the others. Moreover, sections other than
dalits, BCs and minorities are not human, they are only bourgeoisie, fascist,
imperialist, colonialist, communalist. Our candidate is too holy to represent
them."
"Capt. Lakshmi Sehgal explains that
she joined your party after you retracted your views on Subhas Chandra
Bose. You only retracted your mudslinging but never vowed to follow his
ideals. Instead there were parties that consistently held Subhas in admiration
right from the beginning. Still why your candidate chose to join you and
not the pro-Subhas parties?"
"That shows her courage of conviction,
a conviction that there is no Subhas to come forward to warn her."
"How can anyone else support your
candidate? She is stigmatized by your fifth columnist support."
"Why not? India is a secular country,
and every secularist therefore supports her. Further the great Janata Dal
(Secular) is our ally."
"If elected, there is an apprehension
that with your support your candidate may Tibetanise India."
"What's wrong with that? To be a
part of the Red China's empire! Oh, what a dreamful privilege!"
"You accuse the NDA of not bringing
about consensus even as only the few leftists and the pury, Janata Dal
(Secular) have argued themselves, out of it. Do those in your communist
regimes do things on consensual basis?"
"Yes, absolutely. Everything is
on the basis of total and unqualified consensus. We reached such a historic
stage after waves of purge, elimination and liquidation. None dared to,
oppose us. It's how we hammered out absolute consensus."
"Anyway, judging by the upsurge
of the national mood in favour of Kalam, your sacrificial lamb's chances
are doomed to be too remote."
"No, our candidate is certainly
going to win, because she is a born fighter. And her fighting skills have
sharpened ever since she became our fellow traveler. We've appealed to
the electoral college in the name of conscience. Lakshmi is going to win
with a thumping majority thanks to the conscience theory."
"But you are never known for your
conscience?"
"Of course, we don't' have it, for
it is a bourgeoisie virtue. We expect all the bourgeoisie, the capitalist-industrialist-landlord-jingoistic-saffron
nexus to work up their conscience and accordingly hammer off their votes
to our Capt. Lakshmi of the great INA fame."
"If anything, you and your candidate
are hogging much limelight. Publicity far out of proportion to your strength
that is not there. Congrats!"
"It's but natural, for we have lore,
infiltrated the media, the academia, the intelligentsia, and the artistic
mafia. Words are our weapons, media is our machine-gun. Academia is our
armour, intelligentsia our dynamite, and artistic mafia our guided missiles.
No one can challenge our media monopoly."