Author: Reuven Koret
Publication: Jewsweek Magazine
Date: October 24, 2003
URL: http://www.jewsweek.com/bin/en.jsp?enPage=BlankPage&enDisplay=view&enDispWhat=object&enDispWho=Article%5El798&enZone=Opinions&enVersion=0&
Introduction: The real reason Malaysian
Prime Minister Mahathir Mohamad can't wait to visit us in Israel.
Great news! Malaysian Prime Minister
Mahathir Mohamad said Tuesday that he would be willing to come to Israel
under certain conditions. "I would [visit] after the Jewish leadership
would go the Muslim countries and explain why they call Muslims 'terrorists,'"
he said. "That would be fair. Then I will go to Tel Aviv and explain why
I said what I said."
Well, Your Excellency, I may not
be a Jewish leader, and we may not be allowed to set foot in any Muslim
country, but I would love to take you up on your challenge, though I must
admit to being taken aback by the simplicity of your question.
I would have expected a more difficult
challenge. I thought perhaps you would request that we Israelis would learn
to stand patiently in a line, or perhaps start driving defensively. Indeed,
the ease of the answer to your question proves to me that you must be just
dying to visit us in Tel Aviv.
And why not, Mahathir? If, as you
claim, we Jews rule the world, why not be close to the center of global
power, the hub of world domination? If, as you apparently believe, we get
the whole world to fight our wars by proxy, hey, why not come on down and
learn from the masters of persuasion?
So, just to make sure you get the
chance to hop on an El Al jet and visit the Holy Land, you ask us a powderpuff
question that even the simple son could answer on Passover. Very clever,
Your Excellency! You're catching on already.
I am tempted to say that a harder
question would be finding reasons not to call Muslims "terrorists." To
be clear, I am in no way implying that all Muslims are terrorists. But
to imply, as you seem to be doing, that it is somehow difficult to find
reasons to call Muslims "terrorists," or, for that matter, to find Muslim
terrorists, well, sir, you are certainly assuring your prompt arrival on
the shores of the Zionist entity.
Still, I would hate to miss the
opportunity to host you in the Jewish Homeland, so I will bite at your
bait as if it were lox on a line, herring on a hook.
I know you believe that increasingly,
Jews are foolish enough to believe the various peace plans being offered
by the Arabs, just as the Jews in the time of the original Mohammed back
in the 8th century bought the phony and temporary pact he offered at Hudaibiyah.
It is a precedent you cited as proof that we Jews can be lured into mistakes,
believing in the various false promises your co-religionists repeatedly
offer us.
In the guise of explaining why Jews
supposedly rule the world, you (like Yasser Arafat before you) actually
reveal, with your Koranic allusions to Hudaibiyah, the Muslim strategy
for doing so: making temporary tactical "peace" agreements with Israel
and the West that you will not hesitate to break when it is to your advantage.
Peace with the infidel for you is just a weapon to be wielded so the enemy
is lulled into false security. For this candid admission, we should be
grateful. Are you sure you're not working for the Mossad?
But let's get back to your challenge
that we explain why we call Muslims "terrorists"? It reminds me of a Shakespearean
sonnet. How do I call thee, Mahathir? Let me count the ways.
I realize you wouldn't consider
it objective if we Jews were to define terrorism, so let's make do with
the U.S. State Department definition. Yes, yes, I know that for you, the
people over at State are just Zionist tools, proxies for their warmonger
overlords in Jerusalem.
But hey, for whatever reason: somebody
over there in Foggy Bottom seems to have a foggy idea about what constitutes
a terrorist attack:
"(1) The hijacking or sabotage of
any conveyance (including an aircraft, vessel, or vehicle).
"(2) The seizing or detaining, and
threatening to kill, injure, or continue to detain, another individual
in order compel a third person (including a governmental organization)
to do or abstain from doing any act as an explicit or implicit condition
for the release of the individual seized or detained.
(3) A violent attack upon an internationally
protected person or upon the liberty of such a person.
(4) An assassination.
(5) The use on any biological agent,
chemical agent, or nuclear weapon or device, or
(6) explosive or firearm (other
than for mere personal monetary gain), with intent to endanger, directly
or indirectly, the safety of one or more individuals or to cause substantial
damage to property.
(7) A threat, attempt, or conspiracy
to do any of the foregoing.
Gosh, do you really need any examples
of Muslim involvement in each and every one of the foregoing, anywhere
(everywhere) in the world? Do you have a few days to remember? Suffice
it to raise just a few brief reminders, none of which occurred in Israel:
Entebbe, Achille Lauro, Munich, Daniel Pearl, World Trade Center. And there
are a few thousand more where those came from. In the last few years.
But actually, Mr. Prime Minister,
I recognize you weren't asking for a definition of terrorism but of "terrorist."
The State Department has something to say about that as well:
"One who knows, or reasonably should
know, affords material support to any individual, organization, or government
in conducting a terrorist activity at any time, including any of the following
acts: "(1) The preparation or planning of a terrorist activity."(2) the
gathering of information on potential targets for terrorist activity."(3)
The providing of any type of material support, including a safe house,
transportation, communication, funds, false identification, weapons, explosives,
or training, to any individual the actor knows or has reason to believe
has committed or plans to commit a terrorist activity. "(4) The soliciting
of funds or other things of value for terrorist activity of for any terrorist
organization. "(5) The solicitation of any individual for membership in
a terrorist organization, terrorist government, or to engage in a terrorist
activity."
So how many is that? 10? 12? 9?
11? Well, I guess I've lost count of reasons why one might call Muslims
"terrorists." But you may be thinking: "I don't care what you call me,
just call me"? Well, Mr. Prime Minister, we Jews are calling you!
So, Your Excellency, without further
ado: start packing!
We've prepared a VIP itinerary just
for you. I look forward to showing you where the Elders of Zion meet (on
a daily basis, as they are choosing lottery numbers) to plot world domination.
We can go to the beach, where the Israeli girls are plotting in their bikinis
how to seduce Arab leaders. We can visit the blood matzah factory and you
can sample the wares. We can eat the chickpeas so you can see and smell
how we prepare poison gas.
You said it yourself: "It cannot
be that there is no other way; 1.3 billion Muslims cannot be defeated by
a few million Jews." Ah, but it can be. Indeed, sir, we are showing you
how: just ask, and we will try to answer. Learn from the People of the
Book and next time you'll ask us a harder question. Maybe next time we'll
need to look it up.
But I must say, yes, Mr. Prime Minister!
I agree with you when you said: "For well over half a century we have fought
over Palestine. What have we achieved? Nothing. We are worse off than before."
That is wise. If only those who support the armed struggle would learn!
But you, my dear dictator, have
learned well: "We are up against a people who think," you declared. "They
survived 2000 years of pogroms not by hitting back, but by thinking. They
invented and successfully promoted socialism, communism, human rights,
and democracy so that persecuting them would appear to be wrong, so they
may enjoy equal rights with others. With these they have now gained control
of the most powerful countries and they, this tiny community, have become
a world power."
Do I detect a note of jealousy,
Sir, or is it something else? I know democracy and equal rights in your
police state is not something to be proud of, but then again, is it a coincidence
that democratic and egalitarian nations are the same ones that lead the
world? Or are you indeed communicating, in a clever way, that the demon
Jews do have something to teach, and to share, even to you and the leaders
of the 53 non-democratic Islamic states that gave you a standing ovation?
Indeed, you are so wise in matters
of statecraft that it occurs to me that there may be at least one additional
reason for the dumb question you want us to answer in order to invite you
to our country, and exercise your "right of return" with far more right
than Palestinian Muslims, whether terrorists or not.
Mahathir Mohamad, you don't need
to explain to me why you said what you said. Since you clearly have a yiddische
kopf, the reason is pretty obvious: you must be Jewish!
You may want to save some of your
hard questions for Mom.
But, in the meantime, please repeat
after me: "L'shana haba b'yerushalayim. Next year in Jerusalem!"
I hope you enjoy falafel with your
gefilte fish. No doubt you will. It's seems to be in your blood.
(Reuven Koret is publisher of Jewsweek
Magazine, Israel Insider, and CEO of Koret Communications.)